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You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory.
J. Donald Walters
Can you recall the last time you felt truly at peace? When you let your problems drift away and relished in the gift of being alive?
We tend to see peacefulness as a fleeting feeling. The reality is that we carry it within us everywhere we go. It’s simply a matter of which voice we listen to more often: the voice of fear and control or the voice of serenity.
Peaceful people are the heroes of their own lives. They strive for their greatest potential. They see struggles for what they are: chances to emerge wiser than before.
Peaceful people are as kind to themselves as they are to others. They nurture their souls and seek the One from which all beauty originates.
Becoming peaceful is a lifelong practice, but your dedication will serve you immediately in the moment you’re in.
Paradise is not as far off as it seems.
Paradise is lost… or is it?
One of the greatest stories about redemption and peace is Paradise Lost by John Milton.
Despite being a story about humanity’s first fall from grace, Milton argues that Paradise is not lost, it has simply moved.
[Thou wilt] leave this Paradise, but shalt possess a paradise within thee, happier far.
John Milton
Peace may have disappeared from our sight but it lives on in our souls. No matter how far we’ve fallen or how messy our lives may be, we can create harmony within ourselves again.
Paradise is not a place. It is a peaceful mind and heart.
Like a garden, peacefulness needs tending to bloom. Self-awareness and patience are your greatest tools.
Understanding what it means to be peaceful
Your mind is much like the world around you: You can’t control the weather but you can decide how you respond.
The truth is that life will always have its ups and downs. Fortunately, the trials are what give our joyful moments meaning. You start to flourish when you accept this natural cycle of life.
A peaceful mind offers kindness when the world is cruel and rejoices all the more during good times. It understands that the greatest creations come from experiencing all life has to offer.
This is the place that Paradise Lost is referring to: The new Eden. A garden that has known drought and flood, and with time, has produced hardy plants.
This is the mind you are capable of having.
Imagine if you could tap into that serenity—that unshakeable feeling that everything will be okay even if the present is uncertain.
All that is required is that you relearn how to surrender control.
Trading control for something better
Control is a fickle thing. We try to control our time, decisions, and actions, and it sometimes feels like we’re doing it well. But it’s an illusion.
Control fixates on an outcome, not the present moment. It requires life to conform to your will, rather than allowing life to shape you into who you’re meant to become.
Imagine if you planned all of your moves for the perfect chess match before your opponent’s moves. Your attachment to a certain outcome would make the game a frustrating experience instead of an opportunity to learn.
Even the best planners can’t account for all of life’s variables. And even if they could, unexpected challenges are what grow us the most. Why deprive yourself of them?
When you release control, you gain something better: Awareness. You return to the here and now. In this moment, you can choose a better path.
Life is meant to be lived. It is meant to be faced head-on, not escaped from. And it’s certainly not meant to be controlled.
There is a better way to live.
Creating a peaceful mind with observation & acceptance
Call to mind a challenge in your life. Instead of getting riled up, pause, breathe, and notice your thoughts.
Try to understand yourself. Why does your situation trouble you? What does it cause you to feel? How does it make you act?
Watch your feelings come and go without becoming them.
Awareness is a powerful tool. When you observe your thoughts and feelings, you enter the realm of endless possibility. Over time, accessing this place of peace and clarity will become second nature.
In this place you are free. You see your pain in its true form: A source from which to create. The job you hate, the damaging relationship, your negative self-talk, it’s all here to grow you and to show you a better way to live.
Your brokenness is where your light shines through. You have the grace and resourcefulness to emerge stronger than before.
When you believe in your strength and trust the highs and lows of life, peacefulness happens naturally.
5 Ways to Become the Most Peaceful Version of Yourself
Peacefulness isn’t about removing difficulty but embracing it.
The path forward appears when you release control and accept suffering as your guide.
Peace is dwelling in the present. It’s acknowledging and processing emotions as they come. It is courageously stepping forward into the unknown, to roads not yet traveled.
These tips will help you do just that.
1. Pay attention to your thoughts
Your life is only as beautiful as your thoughts. If you can train yourself to think in compassionate ways, your life will blossom before you.
Every thought you have, good and bad, adds color to your rich human experience. Rather than rid yourself of the bad, seek to balance it with the good.
Take stock of what you appreciate in life. Pay attention to the little things that bring you joy. By dwelling in gratitude, you renew your strength to press on.
2. Process your emotions
Emotions carry valuable insights and are persistent when they’re not heard. This is why it is so important to process your emotions.
A wonderful book on self-expansion is The Mountain Is You by Brianna Weist. This quote of hers made a lasting impression on me:
The less you resist your unhappiness, the happier you will be.
Brianna Weist
For years, I mistakenly believed that to have a beautiful inner world meant being devoid of sadness and anger. But it’s quite the opposite.
I remember vividly a walk I took six years ago. It was late autumn and I was having an emotional day. As I walked, I looked up at the scenery around me.
Starring at the turning trees, I noticed for the first time how pristine they looked against the cloudy, grey sky. The thought occurred to me: beauty is found in contrast.
What good is sunshine without the rain? What good is a hero if he has no faults? If we are to view ourselves as masterpieces, we should allow this contrast of light and dark to exist.
Having a peaceful mind doesn’t mean you need to control the weather. It means you will never give up on yourself, even if your skies are grey.
3. Let others be as they are
The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”
Thomas Merton
A common way that control seeps into our lives is in our relationships. We expect others to act in ways that make us feel comfortable and we get defensive when they don’t.
We must understand that for better or for worse, every person is responsible for themselves. Accept people for being human, as flawed as they are strong. In that way, we’re not all that different from each other.
You are only meant to control your reactions in your relationships. The other person’s actions are entirely up to them. This is good news since managing oneself is enough of a job as it is.
There are ways to love people without taking on their responsibilities. Over time, you will learn to love people without seeking anything from them in return.
4. Learn from your inner child
As a child, you experienced life as it was. Happiness was not forced. Emotions came and went like sun and rain on a spring day.
Your inner child has the power to unlock your creativity. They also can keep you stuck when not properly listened to.
You have likely seen glimpses of your inner child in the following situations:
- When you are completely fascinated by something new
- When you lose track of time in a hobby
- When you do something just for the fun of it
- When you find satisfaction in nature and simple pleasures
- When you feel overwhelming frustration or unfairness
- When food or a nap fixes your poor mood
Your inner child is with you whether you acknowledge them or not. Ignoring this part of yourself will only lead to outbursts and frustration.
When you respect and nurture your inner child, you regain access to the peaceful place from which you used to draw strength. You rediscover the things that make you feel most alive.
If you want to learn more about your inner child, I highly recommend The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Her 12-week course changed my life and can change yours too.
5. Make time to create
You, my friend, are an artist.
One of the greatest gifts of being human is our ability to bring new things into existence. Artistry goes much deeper than just career and hobbies. It’s a way of living, where your life becomes your masterpiece.
Creativity allows for the greatest expression of your soul. As such, it is as vital as food and water. Dedicating a few hours a week to creating for pure enjoyment can bring peacefulness and well-being to your mind.
If you take anything away from this post, I hope it’s to find beauty in every season of life. By doing so, you create beauty within yourself.
You are a gift to this world and deserve to have faith in yourself. When you approach this life with wonder, endless possibilities unfold before you.
You are here for a purpose and you will fulfill it. Don’t give up on yourself. Instead, be kind to yourself and others every step of the way.
When you focus on the peace you want to create, it will find its way to you. And remember, “the less you resist your unhappiness, the happier you will be.”
Until next time,
O&K
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