Somehow, here we are with only three months left in 2023. It’s been a beautiful, crazy year, with so much life change that I never would have anticipated. The wonderful, hectic summer is behind us and life seems to have settled.

While a theme of this year has been radical change, some of that change has not come as easy as I’d hoped. And it’s no shock that some of the hardest change has been to my mindset.

I have a tendency to be quite critical, both of myself and the world around me. Flaws seem to stand out as if they’re highlighted in neon yellow. Instead of fixating on imperfections, I’m ready to use my ingenuity and intuition to forge solutions.

A solid piece of relationship advice is to cherish yourself first in order to better love someone else. This mentality could aid me in my cultivation of a compassionate mind. Perhaps to address my criticism, I should first accept myself before I tackle accepting the world. Perhaps by starting with myself, everything else will fall into line.

This is my focus for the month of October and onward. I want to be kind to myself and present so that I might extend that compassion toward others.

---

Part 1: Beautifying My Mind

While I know I can always count on life to bring challenges, I must learn to count on myself to be able to handle them with grace.

Right now, my faith in myself could use improvement. While I firmly believe in my ability to get through everything in life, I don’t trust myself to handle trials gracefully in the moment—and it’s in the moment where they count.

As an emotionally complex person, my feelings are often the part of myself I can’t trust to stay in line. And when my emotions act out, I fall into self-loathing.

With acceptance as my goal, I can see trials as opportunities to accept myself regardless of what is running through my mind. Often, once you stop fighting your thoughts, they resolve themselves and the sun rises once again.

I am aware of my current value while I evolve.

“I am learning every day to allow the space between where I am and where I want to be to inspire me and not terrify me.”

Tracee Ellis Ross

Some days, the canyon between where I am and where I want to be sends me into utter panic. So much to do, so much I’m not equipped to handle—so much change that I hardly know where to start.

The only way to ease my worry is to see how far I’ve come. I’m certainly not a finished product, but will I ever be? It’s worth appreciating the impossible mountains I have seen move. There is no need to fear the challenges ahead. I will surmount them as I have before.

Who I am now is just fine, in fact, I think she’s even rather good. She messes up plenty, but that’s to be expected. Truthfully, all she really needs to learn is how to give herself and others grace and she will find the peace she’s looking for.

At this moment, I am committed to my creative hobbies. I am inviting more enjoyment into my life. My focus is on what is in front of me and not on what lies ahead.

Yes, I still have my moments of negativity, doubt, and struggle. Each time I find myself there, though, I will give myself gentleness and grace. That is how I will heal.

Even if I wasn’t currently bringing joy into my life, I could always start. In every season, there is a reason to celebrate who you are now. That reason is your power of choice. Our choices make our lives, no matter how small.

I acknowledge & appreciate steps forward.

In an effort to combat my own negativity bias, I am savoring each positive aspect of my life. I have made leaps forward that are indeed worth appreciating.

Call it cheesy, because it most certainly is, but the first week of this month I will be making a special dinner for my partner and me to celebrate all we have grown through this year.

When we first moved into our home, I was overwhelmed by everything I had to do. Gradually, over many weeks, I picked up one task at a time. I surprised myself by how quickly I began treading water. This couldn’t have happened without appreciating my growth and seeking out more.

Too often, we deny ourselves the feeling of accomplishment by expecting too much of ourselves. But any accomplishment is worth reveling in, even something simple like cooking a meal.

It’s all too easy to fall into the mindset of what’s left to be done. What is finished already can provide much-needed comfort, no matter how small the task is.

Any intentional step forward can expand your self-belief. And when you believe in who you are now and who you’re becoming, you act in the ways that serve you best.

---

Part 2: Lifestyle Shifts

I am savoring life’s goodness with simple pleasures each day.

One of my weekly tasks from The Artist’s Way was to listen to an album as a break from work. When I did, it reminded me of the comfort to be found in listening to music! And I mean listening. The kind that sends chills through your body while you study the melody and words.

A trait I inherited from my mom is saving special things for special days. What if instead I decide today is special enough? Treats don’t have to be extravagant or even cost a dime. Life provides so many free comforts to whoever seeks them.

Easily accessible, simple pleasures to make any day feel special:

• take a nature walk
• wear your favorite accessory or item of clothing
• try a new style of clothing
• wear perfume
• get a bouquet or houseplant
• light a candle
• watch a video from my favorite YouTuber
• pick up an instrument and play a song
• sit in the sunshine
• make yourself a warm beverage
• watch and listen to rain fall
• wear something extremely cozy
• go through past momentos
• dream up home improvement ideas
• relax with a comfort film or show
• bake bread
• make a lovely dessert
• order takeout
• go antiquing
• look for local excursions (I found a local pottery studio I want to try)
• take a nap
• journal with fun stationery
• use a nice bath product
• treat yourself to an item you’ve been saving
• call a friend
• play a game
• read a book

Options for small joys are truly endless and can warm the weariest of hearts. Remind yourself of how fortunate you are to have a bed to curl up in, books to fill your mind with, and nature and all of its wonders.

Taking joy in life’s little gifts makes it easier to see the beauty in everything, even when troubles remain. Small comforts will always be there to remind us that we are taken care of. You are capable of nurturing yourself by taking the gifts given to you.

I am prioritizing time for creative hobbies.

As the busy days of summer fade, try to save any freed-up time for creative exploration.

There is so much to be discovered and enjoyed in creating. The fact that we are able to create with our own hands is reason enough to celebrate ourselves.

A great use of creativity during this season especially is to make holiday gifts for friends and loved ones. You can make use of your creative gifts or take time to learn something new.

Giving ourselves time and permission to create is healing in itself. We refine ourselves and our craft by working through the faults in our work, seeing them as stepping stones rather than roadblocks.

Combine time spent creatively with a few of the simple joys from the list above and you’re looking at a lovely afternoon to enjoy with yourself.

When we spend time creatively, we give ourselves practice in entering a state of deep, meditative focus. This does wonders for our brain and for our ability to focus in other environments.

I am engaging in slow activities.

Many of us have heard of the slow-living movement. Put simply, it is a call to further mindfulness in our daily rounds.

Slowing down and focusing on the task at hand can be very meditative even when you are at work.

I enjoy tasks that require a level of patience and focus. For instance, when I’m cooking a new meal, I’m not stressing over an unfinished project in another room. My focus is on the ingredients and the task at hand.

There are plenty of other slow activities that are productive but relaxing. Laundry, tidying, dishwashing, and making the bed are all slow-paced activities that offer a balance of productivity and rest.

Recently, gardening has been a mindful activity that has captured my heart. Instead of waiting for spring to develop my garden, I will start growing a few items in pots indoors. I will start with lettuce, microgreens, and tomatoes, and expand as I get the hang of it.

This fall, I will make more of the things I would normally buy. Bread, simple syrups, skincare products, mouthwash, soap. There are plenty of things I could spend a slow afternoon learning how to make. In doing so, I’ll better understand and appreciate the effort that goes into these items.

Carrying slow, present-mindedness into our evenings is important as well. After 9 p.m., it’s time to put away work, pick up a book, or play a board game with my partner. Making more room for slow activities will give my mind much-needed rest.

---

Final Thoughts

The month ahead is a hopeful one. I will keep my intention near to me as the days unfold.

As always, I am thankful you are here taking the time to read my words.

I wish you a grateful heart and the rest you need during this harvest season. Remember to go easy on yourself. We are all unfinished masterpieces. Tapping into this truth is where hope and progress grow in abundance.

Until next time,

K&O