The phrase “it’s the little things in life” is good advice for finding enjoyment in small moments. It is equally helpful as a mindset for self-improvement.

So often, we’re burdened by the desire to start all our goals simultaneously. It is easy to talk ourselves out of growth by being completely overwhelmed by our expectations.

As no stranger to impatience, I understand the desire of going after everything at once. However, part of improvement is feeling positive about your efforts. Feeling proud of your accomplishments is hard when you’re stretched too thin.

Another common trap when pursuing goals is having on and off days. Habits form from consistency, regardless of whether you feel up to it. A great way to make consistency easier is to start with small, manageable tasks that will over time land you at your goal.

The key here is gentleness. We were not created to be beaten silly by our subconscious. And that means goals are not instruments for self-loathing. They are parts of our journey meant to shape us and lead us to new horizons. We owe it to ourselves to take manageable steps in the directions we feel led.

By being present, we find where change can be made: right here and now. No more wishing for some far-off perfect day. You can enjoy the process of growing right in the moment you’re in.

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Small Changes with Big Impact

1) Less media consumption

Although I have not been on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter for years, I still fall victim to the YouTube recommended feed, the endless scrolling on Pinterest, and hours spent reading blogs.

Don’t get me wrong, these platforms are positive in plenty of ways. YouTube makes me laugh, Pinterest gives me ideas, and blogs fill my mind with previously unknown knowledge. But when I become too fixated on consuming, I don’t create.

A clear benefit of setting time limits on these apps has been increased free time to devote to whatever I wish. This means more productivity and more genuine rest. Yes, scrolling allows for lower brain power, but real rest is as intentional and disciplined as working is.

A more unexpected change from this practice is I started to listen to boredom. Boredom often stems from procrastination, even if it’s hard to recognize as such. Whether it’s taking on a new project at work, editing a blog post, or hanging wall art at home, there is plenty I could do instead of turning to my phone or opening a distracting tab. Now when boredom strikes, I ask myself what I’m avoiding.

In my creative endeavors, I have a habit of turning to my phone for inspiration instead of coming up with ideas of my own. It made me wonder: How many ideas might I have if I tapped into them instead of tapping a screen?

For me, the goal is strictly less media, which means I still use it plenty. But saying no in certain instances has freed me up to pursue what I wish. A friend of mine put it well: “Now instead of drowning in ideas online, I’ve picked one and started it for myself.”

2) Embracing seasonal joys

My favorite season of all is winter since I love that the cold weather encourages snuggles, contemplation, and baking. However, the incredible gift of fresh berries in the summertime cannot be overlooked. Add some farm-fresh raspberries to a batch of brownies and you have a delight that can only be enjoyed during the hot and harsh days of the year.

Further activities to enjoy in the dog days of summer are:

• cold river plunges
• wearing airy linen clothing
• abandoning AC for a sunset walk with the dog or a loved one
• making ice cream
• making sun tea with fresh mint and lemon
• line drying clothes out of the wash
• soaking up the sunshine and the cold refreshments that follow
• waking up with the sun
• spending time with friends and family until the sun goes down
• stopping by the county fair
• planting a butterfly garden
• admiring the green on the trees before they turn for the fall
• enjoying time with college-age friends and loved ones before they leave for school
• fresh raspberries, blackberries, peaches, cherries, and melons
• farmers markets
• fresh squeezed lemonade
• beach days

Fall is just around the corner, and you don’t want to get me started on the seasonal joys of that season.

Make your own list of things you will miss once this season ends. Enjoy them to the fullest while the sun still beats down.

3) Prioritizing time with uplifting people

A poor habit I picked up during my school years was seeing communal time as an obligation instead of time well spent. The deep-rooted and unrelenting introvert in me began to think of hangouts as meetings like I would have at my workplace, except I wasn’t paid for them. This was mostly due to being stretched too thin, not the company I was keeping.

Now the people I hang out with are fewer in number, but each interaction feels uplifting and exciting. I prioritize time with my mutually insightful and inspiring friends. I can always count on them to be genuine, encouraging, and constant in my life.

There’s an old adage that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. I am more than happy to be a combination of my partner and the four amazing friends I have remained close to over the years.

Find time to spend with the people you want to influence you. Invest in friendships that will last the test of time. Reach out to someone you would love to hear from. Take any steps you can to bring belonging into your life.

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More Difficult Shifts with Greater Reward

4) Exploring what I have to offer myself and others

A common but damaging belief we face is “I am a burden to the people I love.” For some of us, it is infinitely easier to see someone else’s value and fail to see our own in comparison. It’s a prime example of why “comparison is the thief of joy.”

During my wellness journey over the last year and a half, I confronted many of my emotional blocks in the way of my healing. I can attest to the mind having the power to keep the body in chaos or in balance.

At my most recent appointment, I had good news to share with my doctor. There were no recent instances of poor health to mention. Instead what I shared was my return to creative hobbies I previously enjoyed. Expressing my excitement in doing so brought a smile to my face. I was happy to be sharing gratitude rather than concern.

Of course, my troubles are not over. Staying healthy is a whole other venture, especially when stressors are still present. But instead of feeling discouraged by this thought, I feel confident in my ability to walk through rain or shine with the tools to overcome anything.

So much of what I, and all of us, have to offer is creativity and compassion. The world can never have too much of it.

I have a newfound awareness of my unique gifts and am discovering new ways to employ them. Already, I have ideas for handmade gifts for loved ones, improvements in my workplace, and ways to make our home a haven—all of which can only be completed by my own hands.

Better yet, I am extending my creativity and compassion to myself. Hobbies are no longer causes for self-criticism. I am learning to enjoy to process of creating just to create, not to do so with the underlying belief that I have to be good to enjoy myself.

I know my value goes beyond gifts, but I know equally that I am given gifts that have value. I am still learning what those gifts are, but the ones I have discovered create direction for each day.

2) Living by no one else’s standards but my own

I realized recently that part of why I set the bar so high for myself is to not let others down. My lofty expectations meant I let myself down frequently, though, both by not doing enough and not making time for rest.

Many of my standards originated from external sources like my family and social media. However, looking inward, my own expectations were very different.

My standards for myself on a good day are as follows:

• morning pages upon waking up
• set aside enough time for cooking and cleaning
• undertake tasks with presence, one at a time
• make time for others
• try to put down work at 9 pm and transition to something creative or relaxing
• Lights out at 10:30 pm

On a low-energy day, that standard simplifies to whatever I can handle that day. A practice I am making a habit of is checking in with myself consistently. How am I? What would be the best course of action in this moment?

Previously, many of my standards were dependent upon success. I thought my creative hobbies were pointless unless they reaped monetary value. I especially believed this about blogging. I admired professional bloggers and tried my hand at it three times prior to starting this blog.

While those attempts provided necessary lessons, this time around, I hope only to enjoy myself while I write little snippets from my partner and I’s life together. I want to inadvertently create a map of my growth that I can cherish and build upon for years to come. I want to grow into who I am by writing from a place of authentic interest instead of crippling pressure.

With that shift in expectation for myself, I can gladly anticipate success. After all, what caused me to quit previously was too much internal criticism and not enough enjoyment. This time, the only critics I am listening to are Grammarly and my loving partner who built this blog with me.

6) Partaking in activities where I will make mistakes

I am, to this day, uncomfortable messing up. The planner in me cries when plan A fails, even if plan B is sitting there ready to go. I will gladly take manageable mistakes wherever I can find them in hopes of building resilience for when I need it most.

“Everything is fixable,” is an affirmation my partner taught me for when failure gets me down. And indeed, most things are. I just need practice doing so.

To be clear, I don’t mean walking into impossible situations. Do yourself a favor and never do this. It generally does your self-esteem no favors.

What I do mean is actively choosing to pick up an old hobby I have lost all skill in. Or to make a meal with seemingly complimentary ingredients but no recipe. Or driving without directions and only the area of town in mind.

I have enjoyed making all the lists in this post, so here is one more for good measure.

Below is a list of activities where you will likely make manageable mistakes:

• create your own recipe
• try stream of consciousness writing (pay no mind to the poor handwriting and spelling, just follow the next thought)
• make a sticker collage on your water bottle
• have a conversation with someone in a language you are learning
• try any precision sport
• try a sport that looks fun but you’ve never played
• try a craft that looks fun but you’ve never done
• write your own short story for no one’s eyes but your own
• make a birdhouse
• use a paper map instead of your phone
• save yourself $6 and make your own latte
• strike up a conversation with a friendly stranger

And if you want a notch up on difficulty, try the following:

• bake French macarons
• go birdwatching without a guidebook and then name the birds
• do something kid you always wanted to do but you talked yourself out of
• answer the “What 5 items would you take to a deserted island?” question and go single-night camping with those 5 items
• declutter and beautify the most decrepit corner of your home
• attempt meditating for an hour or more
• write a poem from the depths of your soul

Make your own list or pick and choose from the above. The only rule is that there be room for safe error. Watch your confidence in yourself grow.

“Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when we look back everything is different.”

C.S. Lewis

This is exactly what small changes accomplish. Our dreams really are just a series of small shifts away. Every little change for the better adds up over time to a life well lived.

Ask yourself what small change you can handle today. You never know what it might lead to.

Until next time.

-O&K